Part of Me
by WaitingForAKiss
Summary: "What do you want?" Santana snarled at the taller, green eyed boy. She didn't expect him to sink down and answer, "To help Kurt. It's like he's dying," "But he's not-," "Oh come on, Santana. Have you ever seen someone fade away? That's what he's doing,"
1. Chapter 1

**This was originally a oneshot from 'eloquent fever' -which can be found _http:/www. fanfiction. net/s/8089013/1/Lessons_in_Courage _- who very kindly let me use it as inspiration for this Kurbastian fic. I can promise it's gonna get a hell of a lot more angsty before it gets better. It will have a happy ending (probably) but it will take a little while.**

**It was inspired by a Kurbastian video- which can be found _http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=Jx93bCkTRTM_ - and I hope I did you both justice!**

* * *

He swung his messenger bag and didn't look back.

Blaine was still singing, and he was _sick_ of it right about now. The entire New Directions decided to side his boyfriend, whom they didn't even know that well. He thought of sending a text message or calling him, but the thought was only momentary and was erased by a wave of angry energy that surpassed Kurt's stomach and made him feel sick. And if he took a breath, he'd throw up on Blaine's shoes.

God, those are _hideous_ shoes anyway.

He made a mental note to burn them, and feed his parrot arsenic until he's dead and gone. He wondered if he was supposed to be feeling anything but the anger inside of him. He wonders if he's supposed to feel pain. He wondered if he was supposed to feel at all under the weight of the events that felt like hot-flashes into his mind.

* * *

It had been four days since and he was in the Lima Bean. He thought he saw a shot of chocolate-brown hair in the light, _Sebastian_, except not. Except he was a stranger. He had no energy to care that the boy had practically nearly blinded his boyfriend, -

He saw Blaine emerging from behind.

He didn't look like his lover any more. Blaine sat down in the uncomfortable silence. "You haven't called me. Or even looked at me since…"

"You sang a _break-up_ song in front of my friends?"

Blaine visibly flinched. He didn't say he was sorry.

Sebastian was just enjoying the show with his cup of coffee. Kurt took a long sip of his drink, - a latte, _full_-fat, didn't even begin to care about it – as he stared at Blaine with empty, vacant eyes.

"Where do we go from here? What happens to us?"

_"We? Us?" _Kurt repeated, then lifted the lid, stirring in sugar – normal white sugar – it tasted bland. He put in another packet. "Oh, sweetie, there is no _us_." His voice was full of bitterness by the end.

Blaine's eyes snapped wide. "…that's…the way you want it?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "No, it's the way you wanted it. 'Pack your bags up and leave. And don't you dare come running back to me', isn't it, Blainey? Those are your words, aren't they? How else am I supposed to take that, Blaine? Because I'm held to a double standard whilst you sing a break-up song to me in front of everyone!"

He was sure everyone was staring at him right now and he didn't really give a damn.

"I'm tired, Blaine," he suddenly said. "I'm tired of having to fight bullies, Jeremiah, Dave, the Warblers, and now, you to keep…whatever we are…whatever we _were_. I'm tired of having to fight my boyfriend for roles in my show choir that I deserve, I'm tired of having to see my boyfriend up in the spotlight and shove me away for all the glitter…I'm tired of knowing at the end of the day, I'm the one that has to fight…for _us_. Whatever we _were_."

Kurt opened his mouth again. "I'm tired of fighting, Blaine."

Kurt didn't even look at Blaine's eyes. "I'm just _tired_."

Kurt picked up his coffee cup efficiently, placing the lid back on. "I'm going to New York, Blaine. Have a nice life." He didn't intend on leaving.

Kurt turns around. "PS, Blaine, for someone who taught me about _courage_…you're a _coward_."

Blaine shut his eyes. He didn't go after Kurt.

Kurt passed by Sebastian on the way out, and stared at his eyes. "He's all yours, Smythe." He didn't look back when he left.

When he sat in his car, he broke down, cried and then drove home, _empty_.

* * *

"Kid?" He heard his Dad shout as he closed the door, wiping his eyes, "Kid, that you?"

"Yeah it's me, Dad," his voice was surprising empty- maybe that was for the better.

Burt Hummel came out into the hall, and his dark eyes widened, "Kurt, are you alright?"

Kurt frowned, _no, _"Yeah I'm fine," _I'm really not_, "Just a long day," he gave his Dad a smile, empty as his voice and trudged towards the stairs, feet heavy inside his boots, "I think I'm just gonna go lie down for a while, okay?"

He didn't see his Dad's reply as he sluggishly moved upstairs, ready to sleep and rest, too tired to do anything else other than listen to the slightly worried, "Alright," before he finally got to his room and happily collapsed into warm silk sheets.

* * *

Burt Hummel wasn't a very academic man, but he wasn't stupid. He wasn't the best guy at understanding, but he could cut the tension at the Hudmel family dinner with a knife. Carol kept shooting tentative glances at a still obviously red rimmed eyes Kurt, and Finn kept shooting him angry glances, stabbing at his plate with his fork. Kurt wasn't doing anything except for mechanically eating, slowly taking bite after bite, sipping water in between.

Everything was silent enough to drive Burt mad. Normally Finn and Kurt would be playfully bickering, Burt would be telling Kurt about jobs in the shop he needed help with and Carol would be reprimanding Finn for talking with his mouth full.

But nothing.

"That's it," metaphorically throwing in the towel, he put down his cutlery, glaring at the two teenagers who were both staring at him, "What the hell is going on? You're both as quiet as a mouse, and you," he pointed at his adoptive son, "keep on glaring at Kurt. Can I get an explanation?"

"Why don't you ask Kurt?" Finn snapped, glaring at the smaller of the two who was staring at his knees, "Seeing as he thinks it's okay to cheat,"

Kurt flinched, turning paler before he gripped his knees tightly as all eyes turned to stare at him. Burt swallowed, unsure what to say. He could recall something about Quinn and Sam and Finn early last year, but he simply said, "Kurt?"

His son looked up. Kurt had always been pale, but right now he could be called Casper and it wouldn't even be a joke. His eyes were a dull sea green, lifeless as he softly asked, "May I be excused? I've lost my appetite,"

His kid's eyes looked..._empty_. He could only wordlessly nod, before Kurt rose and took his plate with him. He methodically cleaned it, and put it by the sink before he turned and walked out again. Burt had never seen him so..._lifeless_.

Finn only looked partially guilty before he muttered, "Coward," under his breath. Burt's eyes narrowed, "Finn, I'm going to ask this once. Why are you calling Kurt a coward?"

"He cheated on Blaine," Finn said it with a lot of venom, and Burt could understand, given the boys complicated history, why he would side with the victim, "And he walked out when Blaine was singing about it to call him on it,"

"That's not exactly fair," Carol butted in before Burt could, "Especially not from you,"

"Mom-,"

"No, Finn, listen to me. Considering you convinced Quinn to cheat with you on Sam, you Mister, are in no position to judge,"

Finn was sweating, looking nervous, "How did you know-,"

"Never mind how I know!" Carole snapped, "Kurt is your brother- no matter how you felt you should always take his side," she put down her knife and fork like Burt had, both of them watching Finn nervously shift across the table, "And I suppose the rest of Glee Club also took Blaine's side?"

"Yeah but-"

"Then I am very disappointed in all of you," Carol said sharply, and Finn's entire face fell.

They went back to eating their dinner. Afterwords Finn escaped to his room, but Carol and Burt sat on the couch, They didn't speak until they heard the door slam, and Sam came wandering into the living room, a scowl etched onto his face, "Where's Kurt?"

"In his room," Burt answered, sitting up a little more, "You wanna tell me why you want to see him?"

Sam frowned, shaking wet blonde hair, "I need to apologise,"

Burt narrowed his eyes again, "I'm not too keen to let you see him, Sam,"

"Burt," Sam came and stood just in front of him, brown eyes wide in ernest, "I really need to apologise to him,"

Carole shifted, fixing the boy with a look, "Why?"

"Because I'm a hypocrite," Sam looked them both straight in the eye as he said it, "I took someone elses side when i've done worse than Kurt," he sighed, running a hand through his hair and then across his face, "I was with Mercedes, and she just kept going on and _on_, about how awful Kurt was, and how inconsiderate was he to Blaine for cheating on him by texting and...I just told her to shut up because she wasn't much better," he frowned, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets, "Needless to say I doubt we'll be going out much longer,"

Burt shifted, Carole still watching the blonde with the same Mama Bear look on her face, "Are you going to be dismissive to Kurt in school?"

"No," Sam looked shocked at the suggestion, "Yeah, I was pissed for a few minutes, but I'm with Kurt. I can't really judge him- I mean, look at me and Mercedes," he laughed embarrassedly for a few seconds, "I actually met up with the Chandler guy- he said he never realised he was hurting a couple and he's got a boyfriend himself. It was harmless flirting," he snorted and looked away, muttering, "Which Blaine's done enough of,"

Burt sighed, running his hand over his bald head, "Fine...just look out for him- I know how tough you guys can be on each other, okay kid?"

Sam grinned, before shaking his hair like a wet dog again and running up the stairs. Burt sighed, turning back to the TV, and ill sense of foreboding settling in his stomach.

* * *

**So...don't hate me? I know Kurt is a very strong person, but think about it; Blaine loved him for so long, and at the start of thier friendship he never really told Kurt he was beautiful or sexy, and when he tried to be sexy he wasn't Blaine's sexy, hence why he responded so positively to another boy thinking he was cute. But now Blaine's effectivly destroyed that, and he's asked Chandler to stop texting him, plus he's lost all his friends. So that would probably destroy a lot of people.  
**

**Anywhoo, I would love a review sayingwhat you thought. Wait, who am I kidding? Reviews are like freaking chocolate to me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope I have gotten everyone in reply to your reviews. Honest to God you all made my week! There is a super long AN at the bottom :)**

**Also an anonymous asked why Sam was with the Hudmels; in my HC Sam's family are still in Kentucky and the Hudmels offered him a home. And yes, he now has a key.**

**I will see you at the bottom.**

* * *

Chapter 2

"Kurt?"

He rolled over at his name, still tugging the emptiness with him as he stared blankly at Sam, before he burrowed down into the covers again before he spoke, voice muffled in the thick down comforter, "If you're here to yell please don't,"

He saw Sam smile through a hole in the cocoon of softness, before the bed dipped and he found an arm around his waist, "If I was going to yell at you I'd be an even bigger hypocrite than before,"

Kurt said nothing, closing his eyes as he fought back the wave of fresh tears. Sam kept speaking, pulling him closer so that they were pressed together, Sam's hands weaving through the blankets to find his own, warming them quickly, "I am so sorry, Kurt, for the way everyone took Blaine's side. I'm so sorry I took his side too. I love you like I love my own brother and sister, and..." there was a pause, in which Sam swallowed loudly before burying his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, "I never should have not taken you're side,"

Kurt could feel the tears welling up again, but forced them down. He still felt so empty, yet surprisingly numb in Sam's arms. The coldness that hadn't left his skin under the covers was beginning to melt, disappearing as the tanned arms of his best friend -_only_ friend- slowly warmed him into the sleep that had been avoiding him since he first fell into the sheets.

* * *

When Burt checked in on his son, he found the blonde still wrapped around his son, whoever both wearing pyjama's and Sam wearing a separate comforter. Kurt wasn't screaming for someone to _stop touching me, leave me alone! _like he did most nights. But a small frown marred the soft curve between his eyebrows, his lips puckered slightly. But he was sleeping better than he did some nights.

Burt quietly closed the door, silently checking in on the snoring giant Finn before walking to his own room. In the morning, he'd probably speak to Sam, but if something had gone down in the tent...well then he'd not be staying in Kurt's room for much longer.

* * *

Kurt woke up, sniffing before he rolled out of bed, stumbling towards his bathroom. After that he began to head downstairs, not caring that he wasn't dressed, just needing coffee or something that would wake him up enough to function, even though he felt far too warm and tired and-.

Carol took one look at him, soft brown eyes hardening before she crossed her arms with a, "You shouldn't be going into school today, young man,"

Kurt yawned, shuffling past her to grab a mug of something warm, "I'm fine, Carole,"

"Yeah and I'm Buzz Lightyear."

"Shut up, Sam," Kurt shot back, shuffling into the kitchen in his too large sweater. He could feel both of his brothers eyes on his back as he shuffled to the table where Carole had already made him breakfast- oatmeal with a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkling of brown sugar. A very small part of him wanted to turn around and burrow himself into her warm sweater to cry again, so sick of tugging this empty weight in his chest.

But instead he just turned back to his breakfast.

* * *

Oh for Merlin's sake, someone really hated him.

"Oh my God," Rachel Berry was standing just in front of Kurt's locker, a scowl etched onto her tiny face, "I can't believe you walked out in the middle of someone's performance, and you don't even have the humility to apologise for both walking out and cheating? That is so unprofessional Kurt!"

He ignored her, waiting for her to move. When it was clear she wasn't going to, he calmly pushed her out of the way with, "Excuse me," the words even more empty than his mind at the moment. Of course, she didn't respond positively, "KURT! HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME AND PUSH-,"

"Oh shut up, other Hobbit," Kurt looked up to find Sue standing in her trademark jogging suit. Her sharp blue eyes had narrowed to slits, more dangerous than the way she had placed her hands on her hips, "Your voice has all the attractiveness of a bag of cats having their tails pulled so I think everyone, would appreciate it if you shut your damned trap for about five minutes so that the DOGS can get some peace,"

Kurt raised his eyebrows at the brunette, who turned an ugly shade of red over her black owl sweater, eyes filling with angry and humiliated tears. Kurt sighed, opening his locker and dumping his bag inside, pulling out the textbooks he'd need for his first classes. Rachel had begun to storm off down the corridor, shoulders hunched and balled up fists wiping furiously at her eyes before Kurt managed to run after her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the nearest bathroom. Luckily it was empty, and he quickly turned the lock on the outer door, before pulling Rachel into a hug. She burrowed into him, wiping her tear soaked face on his t-shirt, sobbing quietly as he stroked her hair.

Her body heat was melting into his, warming the freezing blood in his veins. But it wasn't the same as when Sam had held him- it was almost like a rest from the emptiness, a way to feel a little like himself again, but now it was as if the hole was getting wider, maybe because he needed to comfort someone else when he needed that comfort himself. He pushed the thought away with a sneer- he wasn't a damsel in distress and he wasn't Rachel. He didn't need someone else to sort it for him.

It was a little while before she stopped crying, and when she did there was a firm blue patch on Kurt's t-shirt. He blinked down at it under his white blazer- he didn't remember picking out something so plain.

"Your hair," Rachel's words made him focus back on her again, blinking owlishly as she wiped her eyes again. Her face was blotchy, brown eyes ringed red before she sniffed, "it's flat,"

Nothing, Not even a little bit of concern for the fact on how he was feeling, just a comment about his hair. He could almost feel the hole stretching, digging into his stomach with no remorse. But it was so easy to hide, even as his head throbbed, "I didn't have time this morning."

She smiled sympathetically before digging through her bag for some concealer. She turned to the mirror, too busy applying it to her under eyes to see Kurt's horrified face in the mirror. His own grey-green-blue eyes stared back at him, dull and dreary...tired.

What the hell was happening to him?

"Kurt?" Rachel was staring at him, "Can you give me a hand here?"

Pushing his own worries aside, including the niggling message at the back of his head that he suppressed desperately, smoothing the make-up into Rachel's skin as he ignored the pain in his head.

"There," he smiled, trying to even bring forward an ounce of emotion into his voice with such little success, "Perfect,"

Fuck.

* * *

If there was a deity, then it was punishing him. He was slushied three times that morning, and received different slurs each time. Each time the syrupy ice had smacked him in the face it was like his headache exploded. He had been late for three classes, having to repeatedly wash his hair and face of stickiness. In classes with Rachel she shot him an apologetic look, as did the rest of the seniors.

He was down to his last clean t-shirt, and it was his last class. Through careful planning and attention, he had managed to miss the slushies before his other classes, but now if he could just miss this last one he would-

"POOF!"

It was like stepping into an ice cold shower, only instead of making you clean it had the complete opposite. He stood there, gasping as even more slurs hit him, along with a rainbow of slushies. He fought back the tears, biting on his tongue to keep from commenting that they had expanded their vocabulary.

He listened to them jeering as he brought up his hands up to his face, wiping the sticky granules from his eyes, slowly opening them to find the entirety of the glee club staring at him with wide eyes and sympathetic looks.

Rachel had her arm through Blaine's, and she was already turning away, leading him off before glancing at the black haired boy with a sorrowful look, brushing against his arm gently. She shot Kurt a look over her shoulder of apology.

If he saw one more fucking sympathetic look he was going to do something-

"Come on, Dolphin,"

He couldn't hurt Brittany. She was his boo. Which was why he let her take his hand and pull him into the bathroom, Sam following. He couldn't even yank his hand out of hers when they reached the bathroom- if she cried he would lose it. He wasn't surprised to see Santana following Brittany, their pinkies still locked. It almost made him want to cry, a sharp tug at his heart that then made him feel angry before they were washed away into a grey, dullish feeling again. Behind the headache he could feel something like worry pin-pricking at the back of his skull, but he pushed it away as Brittany hugged him, smearing her uniform with slushie.

She shivered as he hugged her back, feeling the liquid seep into her own outfit, "You're cold,"

Kurt swallowed, pulling away from the warmth as she shuddered again, "I know, Boo. Sorry,"

"Do you have any spare clothes?" Santana watched him in the mirror, brown eyes hiding something.

"No," Kurt's mouth twisted down, "This is my last shirt,"

"I've got some spares in my locker," Sam rubbed the back of his head, "It should fit you...I think,"

Kurt looked up at the blonde, "Thanks,"

Sam nodded and ducked out the door, leaving Kurt with Brittany and Santana. The his-panic raised her eyebrow, "Take off the shirt, Hummel- you'll get a cold if you keep it on much longer,"

He sneezed in reply.

"Or you may already have one,"

He gave a forced smile in return, peeling away the t-shirt with a feeling of disgust as the rainbow of colour dripped down his chest, "I think I'll need to go shower-,"

"I'll come!" Brittany offered brightly, even as Kurt, Santana and Sam shot her incredulous looks. Kurt fought with his own smile, shuddering as ice dripped down his spine.

"You coming to Glee?" Sam asked quietly, watching Kurt wipe blue ice from his eyes, sending him a half-hearted bitch glare, "Do I look like I'm going to Glee?"

It was quickly decided that Kurt would just go home- Santana promised to tell the office...and surprised him with a hug before he left.

* * *

"You're such a bitch, Seb,"

"Fuck you,"

"No thanks, that's nearly incest," Chandler grinned, brown eyes glittering, "And you're not my type,"

Sebastian leaned back, eyes narrowing as he smirked wickedly in return, "I never understand why Auntie Florence never told you you're adopted,"

Chandler shrugged, taking a sip from his caramel latte, "That's because I was told not to tell you that you were illegitimate,"

"I have an older brother- that makes no sense,"

"Neither does your face,"

"Bitch,"

"Prat,"

"Idiot,"

"Big head,"

"How did you know?"

"I- OH THAT'S DISGUSTING, BAS!"

Smirking, he sipped a mouthful of coffee, watching Chandler mumble about indecency and wrongness. Flicking his eyes over the coffee shop dwellers, once again he noted a lack of one curly haired boy and his high pitched boyfriend. Shame- Hummel was annoying but he was good for the banter. But, of course, something had happened and Kurt had dumped Blaine on his sweet ass.

"_He's all yours now, Smythe," his eyes were empty as he spoke, the words devoid of bitterness or hate, simply factual as he stared at Sebastian with deadened glaz eyes._

_It sent a shiver down his spine, a foreboding as Kurt just walked -not strutted- out of the Lima Bean, without looking back._

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah?" he whipped his head up from where he had been staring deeply into his coffee lid, eyes wide as Chandler smirked at him through stylish glasses, "Away with the fairies, are we?"

"Shut up, Crush-on-the-guy-who-played-Peter-Pan," he retorted, watching Chandler turn a brilliant shade of red. He brushed the crumbs off the table with a, "I have no idea what you're talking about," as Sebastian snorted to himself.

"Anyway," Chandler pressed on with the subject, finally retreating to his natural colour, "If you want to know my type you just have to turn around-..." he trailed off, his leer turning into a horrified look as Sebastian himself turned...to be met with Kurt Hummel.

The boy looked exhausted, dark purple bruises under his eyes.

_Shadows lurked in her green eyes, movements robotic as she took the coffee from him, pale lips stretched into that same false smile. It looked wrong, horrible on her face._

"Hey Chandler," Kurt gave the other boy an empty smile, walking awkwardly to the counter. Sebastian found himself moving of his own accord, after the paler teenager.

"_You know what, Bas?" she said brokenly, the words both emotionless and bitter at the same time, "Love's not meant for some people. People like you and me. IT just cuts us up and spits us out again, leaving us in pieces," she paused, lips quirking into the fake smile she had perfected, "No, because then there would be something left to salvage. No, love just destroys certain people. Down to the bone," _

"Hello, Gayface," he said cheerfully, but Hummel didn't even turn, looking down at his his fingers as they trailed a pattern through spilled coffee grinds.

_Sebastian stared at her, watching her put on her red lipstick and curl her hair. He couldn't see any woman prettier than his mother- there was no thing possible; woman weren't like his mother. They were beautiful, but not like a diamond vase- they weren't empty, "What do you mean, Maman?"_

_His own eyes looked back at him as she replied words that would haunt him for years, "If you break a certain someone's heart, Bastian, you're as good as killing them,"_

It was haunting how similar the memory and Hummel were, both pale and devoid, lifeless. It scared him more than he cared to admit, Chandler's eyes practically burning a hole in his back. Sebastian just kept standing, tapping his fingers in an irritating rhythm in time with his heart, waiting for Kurt to look up at him again. He wasn't sure yet- he had to see if it was real or not. He had seen two people like that before- he couldn't last with a third, especially not someone that shone as brightly as Kurt.

He didn't like the boy, admittedly, but Hummel was like a fucking star. _Just like his mother_.

The paler teen shot him a sideways glance, "Hello, Horse Teeth," he sighed, still not looking at Sebastian, which was slightly irritating. Then again, he could remember a certain person telling him, _"I don't like looking people in the eye, Sebastian,"_

"_And why not?"_

"_Cause I think they're trying to steal my soul,"_

Admittedly, that had scared him a little bit, but Hummel was not like Brittany; he was just being stubborn. He ignored him even when the woman dumped the low fat crap Kurt drank, giving him a little smile. Marcie was written on her name tag, Kurt's name swirled in fancy writing over the cup as he returned the smile, before pushing past Sebastian.

Now that just wouldn't do.

Sebastian followed, watching Kurt's back tense as he still ignored him, heading to the entrench until he finally snapped, "Would you look at me?"

Kurt stopped, slowly turning with the eyes Sebastian had dreaded to see, somehow still big in his pale face as he glared at him with all of ferociousness he had shown when they first met, but none of the passion or anger with which he always thought of Kurt. However, everything was perfect, down the last t, hand on the cocked hip and the iris's of glaz eyes darkening as he opened his moth and in a snappish tone started his insult with a, "I'm sorry, Meerkat-"

The rest didn't follow; Kurt fainted. The cup hit the ground at the same time the pale teens head hit the table, an ugly thud sounding in the noisy coffee shop. He landed a few seconds later, the cup smashing open to leave creamy brown liquid in a pool bleeding towards the crimson.

It was so eerily familiar he couldn't move, before his training kicked in and he was moving.

Sebastian was next to him within seconds, Chandler following. It was automatic- you'd be surprised how quickly first aid courses spring you into action.

"How come you know this but want to be a writer?" Chandler muttered, quickly helping to shove some tables away as Sebastian quickly took blazer, pressing it gently to the back of the comatose teens head. He glanced at a waitress, "I need a towel for his head,"

The colour red and brown were mixing on the floor, a wavy line just before they created a murky, off setting colour that twisted something in his stomach unpleasantly. He ignored it, gently shaking Kurt's shoulder as Chandler mumbled into a phone before he spoke, "Kurt? Kurt, can you hear me? If you can please show me?"

There was no answer, Kurt lying still in his arms, slow breathes with no colour.

"_MARMEE! MAMAN!" he screamed, shaking her as she lay limply in his arms. _

Someone came barging in through the door, a hand clapping on his shoulder before people in green suits were shoving he and Chandler out of the way with a; "Well done boys, we'll take it from here,"

So he was forced to watch as the took Hummel out on a stretcher, glaz eyes focusing on him as the rolled out.

Chandler took his keys from the pocket of his skinny jeans, not looking at Sebastian as they walked to the entrance, "What do you think?"

He didn't answer, seeing his own face reflected back in the glass of the door, green eyes a hard jade, mouth tight and frowning. He sighed, returning himself to his fate, "I'm going to speak with Santana,"

* * *

**Okay, my apologizes for being late with this chapter, and it's not my best but more later! If you're confused about anything let me know! Sorry, there is a lot of rambling. IT'S KURBASTIAN WEEK ON TUMBLIR NEXT WEEK! I'm taking part, and I have two fics already :). I have a third...I think. But, if you want to follow me on Tumblr my name is merlinpartydanger, and you can ask me anything, or you can ask any of the characters from my fic.**

**And I know a lot of you read cacophonylights "A Change In The Weather," and will someone please tell me in a review if she's updated with Part 20? I just really want to fangirl/boy...**

**I have fic recommendations (a reviewer said they didn't read very much good kurbastian (was flattered that they called this good though)) which you don't need to pay attention to but these authors are amazing I don't think they get enough credit for that:**

**A Change In The Weather by cacophonylights (on livejournal) **

**I Still Can't Believe by mangakittenclaws.**

**Coffeeshop Soundtrack by xblessthefallx**

**Broken Open by DangerousBeans01**

**Of Bear Cubs, Meerkats, and Hobbits by obsessivekumplusivereader**

**The First, Second, and FortyEighth Time by eloquentfever. **

**Thank you for reading. And I roll around in your reviews like chocolate. It's awesome. **


	3. Chapter 3

**This update...was supposed to be up weeks ago. Then came Ur Nitalam feels. That story...let's just say everythime I get an update I start sobbing right after, curled up under my covers because that amazing writer is just making me cry AND I NEED TO READ SOME HAPPY FUNNY KURBASTIAN FICS. WHY IS EVERYTHING ANGSTY? **

**Anyways, I have just been a little depressed and busy -I know that sounds stupid, being depressed from a story, but there are other things too and when I looked at my laptop I just couldn't even stomach the thought of writing because I was worried about a really close friend of mine, and the angsty stories weren't helping- but I'm here now, and hopefully with more updates quickly. In other words, I'm really sorry about how long this chapter has taken. **

**And all of my friends are dicks.  
**

**And I love you all for reviewing, favourite and following this story and or me. It just makes me so happy, and I'm forever getting weird looks from my family because I fangirl every time I get a new follower/favourite/review. **

**I need a BETA, so if anyone wants to be mine that would be awesome. Beware, this means being messaged with ideas at all times of the day, with snippets from this story, and maybe others.  
**

**Also, I've watched Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch is a very... ASDFGHJKL man.**

**I do not own glee, Avenue Q or Love Song by Sara Bareilles**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"If you don't open this door, I will start singing Avenue Q,"

There was a thunk and a yell of, "GO AWAY, CHANDLER!" from behind the door.

Maybe he should take the hint and go.

The smell of coffee was floating down the hall, and his stomach grumbled at the mere thought of food. Mouth watering, he headed to the light blue door from Sebastian's red one. Maybe Arielle had been baking her cookies again. God those things were good. Sebastian's father looked up as he walked into the kitchen, exhausted looking as he sipped coffee from a chipped Disney mug. He gave Chandler a tight smile, "How is he?"

Chandler shrugged, "He won't come out of his room yet,"

Clarice looked nothing like his son or his nephew: dirty blonde hair unlike Sebastian's brown, eyes a light green to Sebastian's dark. But they had the same smirk, the same smile, the same thing about them that made them Smythe men (Arielle had the same gene, so maybe that was a lie). They shared the same high cheekbones, but Clarice was taller and thinner so that they were more prominent. Arielle was almost her father's double...but Sebastian...you wouldn't know.

They were silent for a while, listening for the creak of Sebastian's opening door. He didn't disappoint, the familiar creak of floorboards and another door opening. Clarice set his coffee down with a quiet thunk before chords muffled by carpet and walls drifted down.

Chandler shook his head, turning his eyes upwards as Sebastian's voice started to follow the chords, "_Head under water  
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while  
The breathing gets harder, even I know that  
Made room for me but it's too soon to see  
If I'm happy in your hands_,"

Chandler glared at Clarice, "You told him to write a love song, didn't you?"

Clarice looked guilty, "Actually, Arielle did,"

Arielle was nine years old, and the child of Clarice's second marriage. She had never been told exactly...about what happened to Sebastian's mother. She asked, as all inquisitive children do, but Sebastian refused point-blank to tell her. None of the "I'll tell you when you're older," crap either. She and Chandler however, were the only people who went with Sebastian to her grave on her birthday and death day. He didn't speak on those days.

Chandler shook his head, turning his eyes upwards as Sebastian's voice started to follow the chords, "_Head under water  
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while  
The breathing gets harder, even I know that  
Made room for me but it's too soon to see  
If I'm happy in your hands_,"

After giving Clarice another dirty look, he headed for the stairs, listening to Sebastian's voice fill the hall, "_I'm unusually hard to hold on to  
Blank stares at blank pages  
No easy way to say_-nope that's not right," He'd hit a bum note halfway through the chord, stopping abruptly to pull his pencil from behind his ear and scribble something onto the sheet in front of him. Chandler didn't say anything, leaning against the door and watching Sebastian unwind. Ripped paper scattered across the piano's closed roof, more surrounding Sebastian's feet, hands resting on the keys as he reworked his melody. His hair was flat against his head, not sharply combed back into its usual style, his eyebrows furrowed over his glasses. Chandler rolled his eyes, "You know, the overworked musician thing is getting old,"

"Fuck off, Chandler," Sebastian replied easily, scratching the back of his head absentmindedly. He started playing again repeating the verse he had started, " _I'm unusually hard to hold on to  
Blank stares at blank pages  
No easy way to say this,_"

The pause Chandler had expected didn't come, Sebastian instead continuing with a, "_You mean well, but you make this hard on me  
I'm not gonna write you a love song  
'cause you asked for it  
'cause you need one, you see_," he stopped again, picking up the pencil and chewing on the end of it.

Chandler's backside hit the floor at the same moment he figured out the lyrics, "Do you really think your Dad's too hard on you?"

Sebastian froze, swallowing. He didn't turn his head, but from Chandler's view it was passive, blank, "I don't think he understands, Chandler,"

He didn't speak again, going back to his writing, leaving Chandler on the floor and staring, "Stop crying, Chandler or I'll slap you,"

Chandler rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the floor. Sebastian ignored him for the most part, still playing away when he leaned forward to hug his cousin, burying his face in the side of Sebastian neck. Vulnerable had never been a part of Sebastian's personality but...music was.

Sebastian tensed, "I know you say that I am not the devil and Arielle is, but I will show what will happen when Hell freezes over if you do not let go of me,"

"That's the Sebastian we know!"

"...Dick,"

"And I didn't even need to sing Avenue Q,"

* * *

The coffee was slightly too hot, burning his mouth as he stared across the table at Tina, "Can I just ask why you skipped Glee and brought me out for coffee?"

Tina shrugged, stirring her mocha with a stick. She gave him a kind smile, "I was tired of the Rachel and Blaine show,"

Kurt looked down, a smile tugging at his lips. A little warmth bloomed in his stomach at having someone take his side, "Thanks, Tina,"

Tina shrugged, taking a sip of her drink, "I take you're not appreciating everyone treating you like porcelain,"

Kurt shrugged, "Yeah. It annoys me, but Dad and Finn are pretty good about it. It's Rachel and Britt that are bugging me a little,"

Three days after the coffee event, Rachel had become slightly unbearable. Considering she had taken Blaine's side, she was still checking up on Kurt in her own caring, obnoxious way. Britt was just Britt- she had taken to growling at anyone who walked too close to Kurt and walking ahead to ensure of nothing for him to fall over. Santana had been able to keep her away most of the time, but there was only so much she could do. But she was sweet, and she was caring, so he could live with it.

"What about Sebastian?" Tina asked, carefully. Kurt's eyes snapped up, a trickle of embarrassment clouding his numbed senses, "I uh...I haven't spoken to him since,"

That wasn't a lie- they hadn't seen each other since then. He'd been told by his father Sebastian came with them until someone came and took both him and Chandler away. Finn had blabbed -in his own well-meaning way- which meant everyone knew.

"What about Chandler?" Tina's lips curved into a grin, brown eyes sparkling. She only faltered slightly when Kurt shook his head. He gave a little rueful smile: Tina was a good actress, but not good enough.

"We've spoken, but," he shrugged, trying to muster something and again failing.

Tina's smile dropped entirely, "Kurt, if you like the guy, you should be able to ask him out for coffee or something," at Kurt's dark look she hurriedly added, "Even as friends!"

"No," Kurt shook his head again. There wasn't even any tears, when he felt that horrible feeling ripping through him, "No, I just can't, Tina,"

Tina sighed, leaning back and looking out of the window. A curl tumbled over her shoulder, separated from her ponytail. It looked pretty, especially against the white coat with black lining he had convinced her to buy...last spring? Still, it looked pretty.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping when Tina murmured, "I never did like that hobbit,"

Kurt paused mid-sip, Tina looking at him with serious, dark eyes. Then suddenly, he laughed. And damn, it felt good.

* * *

"Hyia, kid,"

"Hey, Dad," Kurt yelled back, rolling out from underneath the light blue Sedan. There was oil on his nose and his hands were as black as the ace of spades. Sam sat next to him in cleaner overalls, holding a spanner with the open tool box by his left knee, looking interested. Obviously he was being Kurt's tool holder.

The sight suddenly brought a memory to his attention of eight year old Kurt with pink and blue overalls sitting beside his Dad as he learned. A smear of oil on his cheek and a cheeky grin stretching from one ear to another.

"You okay, Dad?" Kurt was looking at him confused, and Burt coughed, bringing himself back to the present time, "I'm fine, Kid. But get out from under that car- you're not supposed to be doing anything with that head injury,"

His boy scowled, "You are no fun, Dad."

"Revenge for heart attack, Kurt," he replied, hauling him to his feet. Kurt grinned back and it reached his eyes.

He looked at Sam who grinned back...something was getting better.

* * *

**YAY! BETTER KURT AND ANGSTY SEBASTIAN! Okay, in repentance for missing this story for so long, you have three choices:**

**1. I post all the versions of this chapter on my tumblr (plus jokey outtakes)**

**2. I write a...M-rated oneshot that will (maybe) be in this story that involves a cheerio outfit and Kurbastian.**

**3. I post the first chapter of Sherlock!Kurbastian, Glee as CATS, a LittleRedRidingHood!Kurbastian, Killjoy!Kurbastian, or Kurbastian!St Trinian's :P. YOU CAN VOTE MORE THAN ONCE!**

**BTW, the reviews make me write more The Little Mermaid jokes.**

**EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has added me in a community- whether it is a small one or a big one I am so pleased :). You should have let me know though- I would have given you a sneak peek :)  
**


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